Friday, 14 January 2005 - 10:00 AM

This presentation is part of: Spirituality and Religion

Families Coping with Religious Diversity in the Family System

Purpose: In recent years, substantial attention has been given to ethnic diversity among families in the United States (e.g., McGoldrick, Giordano, & Pearce, 1996; Demo, Allen, & Fine, 2000; McKenry & Price, 2000). Although these writers acknowledge the significance of religion within ethnic groups, little attention has been given to religious diversity within family systems. This paper describes findings that emerged in a qualitative study of Jewish families about religious diversity in the same family system, and how mothers and their adult daughters perceived and coped with this diversity.

Methods: During the past few years, the authors have been conducting cross-national qualitative research on families in which a daughter intensified her observance of Judaism and became Orthodox. The study included 31 U.S. families. Our principal method of data gathering was separate in-depth interviews with related mothers and daughters (62 interviews). In addition, we conducted a focus group and read numerous published spiritual narratives of individuals who had become Orthodox (e.g., Greenberg, 1997; Klinghoffer, 1999; Mordechai, 2002). Interviews were transcribed, read several times, and coded, using NVivo. During the course of identifying family attributes, we found that 13 of the families had one child who had become Orthodox while a sibling had married someone outside of Judaism (usually Catholic). We then carefully re-read the mother and daughter interviews of these 13 families, looking particularly at ways in which family members coped with religious diversity in the family system, triangulated mother and daughter reports, and wrote memos on each family. We coded sections of the transcripts that pertain to mother, daughter, and other sibling coping with religious differences in the family.

Results: The Orthodox daughters had difficulty accepting their siblings’ marriages and their non-Jewish spouses. They refused to attend siblings’ weddings and kept their distance from siblings, siblings-in-laws, and their children. On the other hand, the mothers, who accepted the religious diversity in their families and attempted to bring together the divergent parts of the families, were upset with the reactions of the Orthodox daughters. Some of the siblings made strenuous efforts to bridge the gap whereas others drew back.

Discussion: In mainstream U.S. Jewish families, both becoming Orthodox and marrying outside the faith challenge family cohesion. Nevertheless, the mothers, who had raised their children to be tolerant and encouraged them to make their own choices, accepted religious differences. Following strict religious laws and customs, however, the daughters did not regard their siblings’ marriages as valid and considered their Christian in-laws outsiders. Religious ideological differences created misunderstanding and tension in these families.

Implications for Practice: Culturally competent social work practice necessitates an understanding of religious diversity within family systems and how families cope with these differences. In families such as those researched here, sensitivity is needed to the religious values of parents and each sibling unit. Practitioners might consider working with units separately initially and later bring the system together. Family members can be helped to understand each others’ positions and feelings so that ideological differences are not interpreted as dislike.

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