Exploring the Meanings of, and Care within Anonymous Sexual Encounters

Background and Purpose

With the emergence of new HIV infections and drug resistant sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) among populations of men who have sex with men (MSM), there has been increased emphasis on personal responsibility and demonstrating care for sexual partners in all kinds of sexual encounters. It is commonly asserted that brief anonymous sexual encounters are risky for HIV/STDs, impersonal, “meaningless,” and devoid of care. Informed by embodiment theories and the strengths perspective, this study questioned these assumptions by examining the lived experiences of men engaging in anonymous sex to better understand the meanings they attributed to these encounters, and if and how care is demonstrated towards anonymous sexual partners.

Methods

Flyers describing the study were distributed to businesses providing spaces for MSM engaging in brief sexual encounters and agencies where MSM seek health, mental health, and social services. Using a purposive sampling strategy, prospective participants contacting the investigator were screened to maximize the variation of anonymous sexual experiences within the sample. This screening included consideration of age, racial/ethnic background, HIV status, and relationship status. The final sample comprised 17 men ranging in ages from 22 – 51, with the majority of participants being men of color, HIV negative, and non-partnered. Semi-structured interviews were conducted and transcribed. Coding methods drawn from phenomenology and grounded theory generated categories and themes.

Results

Participants attributed multiple, sometimes conflicting meanings to their brief sexual encounters. Sexual release was cited as a primary goal of anonymous sex but participants also mentioned these encounters were ways to experience multiple sexual partners, symptomatic of sexual addiction, inherently risky for HIV/STDs, and comprised unexpected opportunities. Participants attributed other meanings to anonymous sex such as experiencing minimal emotional involvement and feelings of shame, and coping with loneliness and stress. Positive meanings included excitement, having fun, validation, expressing and receiving affection, and experiencing human connection.

A continuum of care was evident in these narratives of brief sexual encounters. On the one hand, non-caring was evident in narratives detailing sexual coercion, verbal abuse, threats of violence, and forced drug consumption. On the other hand, caring towards anonymous sexual partners was demonstrated by taking responsibility, respect, communication, and reciprocity.

Conclusions and Implications

The study findings suggest perpetuating discourses that assume all brief sexual encounters are synonymous with depersonalized sex discounts the capacity for connection and limits understanding of the ways men relate to one another in these interactions. Social workers must understand that brief sexual encounters do not constitute a monolithic experience but are multifaceted in terms of meanings and demonstrating care for sexual partners. Based on these conclusions, the study offers ways to better incorporate meanings of sex in HIV prevention efforts, suggests looking at the role of embodiment in caring for sexual partners, and recommends a closer examination of structural factors that shape anonymous sexual encounters.