The Longest Relationships in the Longest Lives: Sibling Social Support in the Eighth Decade and Beyond

Background:  Relations with siblings are longer, in most cases, than those with any other relative.  As people 70 and over live longer, social workers engaged with this population need more information about the nature of adult sibling relationships. Those relationships can be a source of great support, on the one extreme, and/or a source of great distress. Clients in the 70s or beyond grew up in a particular time period with values that might affect their interactions with each other. This poster, based on qualitative interviews with 21 adults over the age of 70 with at least one living sibling, describes the social support patterns between siblings. Such information can help researchers and clinicians fine-tune interventions for this cohort by taking into account these important life-long relationships and their salient characteristics.

Methods:  Between 2011 and 2013, we surveyed and interviewed 262 respondents 40 years old or over with at least one living sibling.  We focus here on the interview responses of the oldest of those we interviewed. Those 21 respondents were between 70 and 90 years of age. The interviews, informed by grounded theory, provided an opportunity for those respondents to describe in their own words what their sibling relationships were like at this stage of their lives. The sample is 57% female, 57% white, 29% African American, and has a median age of 75.  Sixteen of the 21 have more than one sibling.

Findings: Two-thirds of the sample said their relationship with their sibling(s) was very important with none saying it was not important.  While the majority would feel most comfortable talking with a sibling about (in descending order) their health, politics, family, religion, or friends, almost no one would feel comfortable talking about sex or money. The majority said there had been both closeness and distance in their sibling relationship across the lifespan, with the remainder stating they had always been close.  No one reported never being close. When asked to describe an enjoyable event with a sibling, respondents described routinized time together (holidays or family events) or a peak experience that led to greater bonding (a meaningful talk or a sibling coming to the rescue).  When asked to describe a difficult event, siblings reported either their parents were involved in some contentious interaction (e.g. parents showed favoritism; sibling disagreed about care of aging parents) or that their sibling’s personality or behavior lead to conflict.

Implications:  Implications for practice include: 1) Recognizing the importance of siblings in later life and supporting clients to draw on sibling support when needed; 2) Helping clients understand that a certain levels and even cycles of closeness and distance across the lifespan would be normal; 3) Being aware that certain topics that might arise during family meetings (e.g. money) may be uncomfortable to discuss; 4) Focusing on the role that parents played in the development of the sibling relationship, even in later life when parents are gone; and 5) Learning to cope with a sibling’s problematic behavior.