“Getting It”: Identity and Sexual Negotiation for Sexual and Gender Minorities with Physical Disabilities

Background:

People with disabilities (PWD) make up a significant portion of the population in the US; the 2010 United States Census reported that 21.3% of the population age 15 and over has a disability. Research and scholarship around sexuality and disability has grown internationally in the past decades; yet much of the existing research on the sexuality of PWD is focused on sexual self-esteem and social attitudes on sexuality, not communication with partners. There is little on disabled sexual minorities, gender minorities or those participating in non-mainstream sexual practices. This qualitative study examined the experiences of eight adults with physical disabilities regarding negotiations with their current, former, and potential sexual partners and the ways people with different identities communicate their desires and needs to their sexual partners.

Methods:

Using a phenomenological approach, this study focused on adults, age 25–50, who lived in the metro area of a city in the Southwest and who self identified as having at least one physical disability. All eight participants also identified as sexual minority (lesbian, gay, bisexual or queer), a gender minority (transgender/gender non-conforming), or as a person with non-mainstream sexual practices (kinky/practicing BDSM or polyamorous/non-monogamous) Participants were recruited via sexuality and disability groups on social media. Each person was interviewed using a loosely structured interview schedule, with interviews averaging 45 minutes. Interviews were then transcribed and coded. A secondary coder used the initial code list to confirm the appropriateness of the codes. These codes were then placed into themes using the tabletop theming method, creating distinct themes as part of the analysis.

Results:

The analysis resulted in two themes: 1) kink as communication and 2) foundational influence. There appeared to be crossover from the communication expectations/styles evident in the kink/BDSM and polyamorous communities into the lives of PWD when asking for their needs and desires to be met. Additionally, several participants shared ways of engaging their disabilities as part of their kink experiences, thereby enhancing, rather than hindering, relationships. Regarding foundation influences, the experience of coming out as a sexual or gender minority enhanced the participants’ abilities to negotiate the discussion of their sexual needs. Some participants had trouble separating their disability identity from their sexual and gender identities, sharing how one identity informed the other in a bidirectional process.

Conclusions:

PWD who are sexual or gender minorities may experience unique understandings of their sexuality and sexual interactions. These identities may support and enhance their sexual communication about their sexual needs and desires, and their negotiations with their partners. By understanding how these individuals experience and communicate about their sexual needs and desires, and how they negotiate this process, social workers will be better prepared to support these clients during the already challenging negotiation process that may occurs with the clients’ current and potential sexual partners. Through learning about the intersections of these identities, social workers will have a better understanding of the influence of sexual and gender identities on partner negotiation, and can better engage their clients in discussions around sexuality.