Poor Yet Intimate: Parent-Child Closeness Among Low-Income Families in Singapore

Background and Purpose: The positive effect of parent-child closeness on children’s outcomes is well documented, particularly for academic performance. Most research, however, considers parental qualities and styles as independent factors that shape the nature of secure attachment or intimacy which, in turn, promote children’s school engagement and academic outcomes. Little research attention is paid to the role children play in parent-child closeness. In addition, there is a dearth of literature on parent-child intimacy among low-income families. This paper utilizes an innovative theory – social relational theory – that accords parents and children as equal agents, to investigate mothers’ experience of closeness in their interactions with children from low-income families.

Methods: Sixty mother-child dyads (n=120) from low-income families receiving financial assistance in Singapore consented to participate in this study. In-depth interviews were conducted separately with mothers (n=60) and children (n=60). We carefully crafted two vignettes to understand the tension and dilemmas confronted by these dyads arising from limited family financial resources. Instead of addressing questions directly to participants, through the safe space of vignette discussions, mothers and children verbalized how their relationships with each other could be strained due to competing tensions and stress. The researcher further explored strategies mothers and children employed to co-construct intimacy and maintain and repair their relationships despite existent stress and tension.  

Results: More than half of mothers considered their relationship with their child as ‘very intimate.’ Some strategies reported in achieving such close relationships included physical touch, for instance hugs and kisses; joint activities with their children, including doing housework and window shopping; and spending time to talk together. Contrary to the popular notion that Asian parents are more conservative in physical touch, our findings challenged such views. Half the children reported that their mothers understood their feelings and almost half (n=25) claimed that they could also empathize with their mothers’ stress and emotions. More than two thirds (n=46) of children considered family outings that did not incur much expenses—including visits to parks, picnics at beaches, occasional eating at low-cost vendors—as important factors in binding families together.   

Conclusions and Implications: At times, social workers’ attention gravitates to risks, tensions, and stress of low-income families. The findings of this paper provide valuable insights that low-income mother-child dyads in Singapore are organically capable of alleviating tension by forging intimate and close relationships. While keeping one eye on risk factors, social workers could intentionally cast the second eye on these low-cost or no-cost strategies initiated and participated jointly by parents and children. These are potential protective factors that could be utilized to build resilience despite risks.