Impact of the Death of a Child with Cancer on Bereaved Mothers' Family Relationships

Background and Purpose: Losing a child to cancer is not only a traumatic experience for individuals but also a significant event affecting the entire family’s relationships, including parents, siblings, and extended family members. This study aimed to understand mothers’ grief and changes in interpersonal family relationships from the perspectives of mothers after the death of a child due to cancer. Understanding family dynamics in bereavement can inform bereavement support provided to mothers and their family during the grief process.

Methods: In-depth interviews were conducted in Korea with 15 bereaved mothers recruited from support groups for mothers whose children had died of cancer no less than 1 month before the interview. The mean age of participants was 47.2 years. The majority were married, with college degrees or higher, not employed, and with more than one surviving child. Open-ended questions about relationship changes in bereaved families after a child’s death were asked, with further probing questions. To identify themes in the qualitative data from the mothers’ narratives, thematic analysis was conducted.

Results: Through qualitative interviews, 12 subthemes emerged within three significant themes regarding family relationships: (a) marital relationships; (b) relationships with surviving child or children; and (c) relationships with extended family members. In their marital relationship, mothers were not emotionally comforted and expressed resentment and anger toward their husband’s indifference. At the same time, they reported strengthened bonds and compassion as parents who shared the same pain of losing a child. Regarding surviving children, mothers felt guilty for neglecting them while focusing on their sick child and had difficulties in their relationships with surviving children, specifically related to communicating about the deceased sibling. However, the surviving children gave them a reason to continue their life. With extended family members, mothers felt hurt when they told them to forget about the child. Mothers also found themselves avoiding extended family members due to fear of talking about their child; thus, they lacked support and could not share the pain with others in the family.

Conclusions and Implications: Mothers whose child died of cancer go through an interdependent process of coping with grief in close family relationships. Our study highlights bereaved mothers’ perspectives on how family members grieve in different ways and their influence on family dynamics. Although expressing their ambivalent feelings toward family members, bereaved mothers hoped to strengthen their relationships in their grief journey. Family members serve both as a crucial and unique source of support and as a source of pain related to shared loss. Such complex relational aspects should be considered when supporting grieving mothers. Bereaved mothers should be able to share their pain of loss and exchange support with their loved ones in their long journey of grief.