Connecting: The Emotional Experiences of Fathers of Children with Neurodisabilities

Background and purpose: Research on the experiences and support needs of fathers of children with neurodisabilities has seen a modest increase over the last few years, as the appreciation of the role of fathers within their families continues to evolve. A scoping review on father’s parenting experiences in the context of childhood neurodisabilities revealed that those who struggle with emotional closeness with their child are more likely to report less competence and more social isolation in parenting (Bogossian et al, 2017). In the current study, a deeper understanding of fathers’ emotional experiences of parenting was explored.

Methods: Interpretive phenomenological analysis (Smith et al., 2009) was employed with 11 Canadian biological fathers (mean age 47.63) of children and youth with neurodisabilities (mean age 12.36; girls: 36%). Seventeen semi-structured interviews were conducted. Most fathers (n=10) were married and lived with their spouse and children with a range of diagnoses (i.e., autism, cerebral palsy, and intellectual disabilities) and an array of functional complexity (i.e. difficulties walking, talking, learning, understanding, and socializing).

Results: Three superordinate themes were revealed. “Forming connections with the child” described the successful or failed attempts to form emotional connections. Fathers described experiences of fear and apprehension, grief and sadness, amazement and surprise, and vigilance and anticipation. Fathers expressed feeling more connected and perceived a sense of competence when they understood their children’s relational cues. They expressed feeling ambivalence, and frustration when they felt uncertain about their children’s needs and responses. “Making our place in the world”, the roles assumed by fathers to ensure the physical, emotional and social well-being of their child and family were revealed. Fathers openly discussed worries about children’s physical pain, developmental delays, and emotional, mental, and physical health care needs, and the roles they played in supporting them. Simultaneously, fathers described how acting strong and stoic, though feeling overwhelmed, and terrified or sad, served to protect their spouse and family. In broader social relationships, fathers assumed a protective role with extended family, friends, and community members to ensure the integrity of their child and family were respected by sometimes restricting contacts when perceived as harmful or violent. The third subordinate theme, “emotional connection as a catalyst for growth”, describes fathers’ personal growth and transformation (i.e., feeling proud of self and child, feeling secure in abilities) in the presence of strong father-child connection, and the solitary and lonely journey (i.e., overwhelmed by uncertainty, resignation) in the presence of weak connections.

Conclusions and Implications: Interpretive phenomenological analysis allowed for the in-depth exploration of the parenting experiences of 11 Canadian fathers of children with neurodisabilities. Social workers can have a significant impact on fathers by recognizing their important and unique role. Supporting fathers to ensure emotional wellbeing, co-constructing appropriate strategies to address father-child relational difficulties, and providing fathers reliable information to support their child’s developmental, educational, and future vocational needs are just some ways social workers can have an impact on fathers’ parenting experiences.