The Knock on the Door- Moral Trauma and Loss Among Families of Women Combat-Support Soldiers

Background and Purpose:

Although bereavement in military contexts has received scholarly attention, the voices of families who have lost women soldiers—particularly those serving in combat-support roles—remain largely absent from the literature. This study examines the experiences of bereaved family members whose daughters or sisters were killed during a military event on October 7, 2023. The study aims to explore how bereaved parents and siblings navigated the emotional, moral, and relational dimensions of loss following the deaths of women soldiers. It examines how they made sense of the unfolding events, their evolving perceptions of the military response, and the ways in which they articulated experiences of ethical harm, emotional injury, and disrupted trust.

Methods:

This qualitative study used a narrative methodology to analyze the experiences of 23 bereaved family members (21 parents and 2 siblings) of women combat-support soldiers killed while serving on a frontline military base. Participants were recruited through outreach to bereaved families and interviewed between December 2023 and March 2024, either in person or via secure video call. The interviews were semi-structured, trauma-informed, and conducted by researchers with expertise in narrative analysis and military trauma. All interviews were transcribed and analyzed.

Results:

Three central themes emerged from the interviews. First, participants described a prolonged absence of information from the military in the initial hours and days following the event. Families reported relying on informal sources such as social media, peer networks, or even their own investigative efforts to learn what had happened. The delay and uncertainty contributed to intense emotional distress. Second, families encountered significant challenges in the identification process. Several described cases of incorrect, contradictory, or delayed information regarding their daughters’ status. In some instances, families received official notifications days after they had already learned the truth through other channels. Third, across the narratives, families expressed deep frustration with inconsistent or insensitive communication practices during a time of acute grief. These experiences were described not merely as logistical failures but as ethically wounding, giving rise to what many parents described as a profound sense of moral betrayal. Emotional responses—devastation, confusion, anger, and a sense of insult—were present in nearly every account. These reactions reflect not only the shock of personal loss but also a broader experience of moral trauma emerging from what families perceived as a violation of trust during a time of national crisis.

Conclusions and Implications:

The findings demonstrate that moral trauma affects not only soldiers but also bereaved families, particularly in the context of large-scale military failures. For social work practitioners embedded in military systems, this research emphasizes the need for: trauma-informed communication protocols, proactive and continuous engagement with bereaved families, and gender-sensitive frameworks that validate the service of women in combat-support roles. “The knock on the door” must not be treated as a procedural task, but rather as a critical ethical moment in which trust can be either broken or restored. The study provides empirical insight to inform future policy and social work practice in times of crisis.