Let's "Netflix and Chill": How College Students Communicate about Sex and Navigate Consent

Background: One in five college women is sexually assaulted. Because 84% of reported sexual assaults occur within the first four semesters of college, it is important to use effective prevention programming to reduce the likelihood of sexual violence. This programming can be targeted to change problematic perspectives, including those about consent. Consent is the foundation of determining if a sexual assault has occurred. Therefore, it is important to understand how college students communicate about sex, including how they give consent or ensure consent has been given.  

Methods: A qualitative study was performed to understand how college students communicate their sexual intentions, including how they would describe and identify consent. Focus groups and interviews were completed online and in-person with 25 female and 20 male college students between the ages of 18 and 24. To ensure methodological rigor, thematic consistency was checked across data collection methods.  Although gender neutral questions were asked, participants referred to perpetrators using male pronouns and victims using female pronouns.

Results: Participants had difficulty defining and describing consent. They were vague and described consent as subjectively based on the individual. When they were able to give specific descriptions, participants said consent was expressed verbally; it was a, “clear and coherent yes.” However, they expressed their preference to rely on nonverbal communication. When probed to give examples of nonverbal communications of consent, they often gave indications of resistance. They also acknowledged the difficulty women may have saying no due to social pressures. Students discussed multiple situations where consent is implied, including in relationships or if they go back to someone’s dorm. They frequently brought up the euphemism “Netflix and Chill,” an example of how they indirectly communicate about sex. Participants also discussed the reasons why men do not ask for consent, including not wanting to give a woman the opportunity to say no or in adherence to gender norms that demand men pursue what they want aggressively; to be masculine is to not ask for what you want. For participants, alcohol consumption was a part of the sexual experience and did not automatically mean a person could not give consent. Healthy intimacy was something they were able to describe in detail; often describing what can be said during intimate interactions and how men should react when women verbally or nonverbally respond to their pursuits.

Conclusions: When college students are advised to wait until they receive consent before continuing sexual activity, it is assumed they know what that means. The current study indicates that is not necessarily true. Prevention programs should not assume that when consent is mentioned, students can identify consensual sexual interactions. Programs should focus on helping students communicate about sex within the parameters of their experiences; meaning, the focus should be on helping students establish boundaries quickly, primarily using nonverbal communication. The current research indicates there are multiple barriers to consent that need to be addressed for prevention programming that contribute to the perpetration of sexual assault.