Brainwashed, Stupid, and Blinded By Love: Teens "Storying" of Dating Abuse Among Their Peers

Background & Significance

Teen dating violence (TDV) continues to be a significant social justice issue. Numerous studies have reported that adolescent victims of TDV primarily seek informal support from their friends. One of the barriers to adolescent help-seeking is perceived judgment and being encouraged to discontinue the relationship. While some studies have found that peers provide a nurturing response, other research contends that peers can minimize the abuse, distance themselves from the victim, confront the abuser, or reinforce negative stereotypes regarding abusive relationships. Therefore, it’s critically important to examine teens’ beliefs, perceptions, and meaning-making processes regarding the lived experience of dating violence. The purpose of this study is to examine how teens “story” the experience of TDV, with an attention to an examination of the contextual factors that influence teen’s language regarding the construction of victimhood and the antecedents of dating violence.

Methods

We collected data from eight community-based focus groups and included youth aged 14-18 (n=53) in an urban locale in Washington. We used a semi-structured interview guide to elicit youths’ examples of TDV and initiate a discussion about the types of interventive behaviors participants would employ if confronted with dating abuse.

Building on the concepts of sociolinguistic narrative analysis, our analysis considered both structural and individual level factors that influenced participants’ conceptualizations of and responses to TDV. All transcripts were coded inductively. After systematically applying codes to the data, matrices were developed to compare the presence of surfaced narratives both within and across groups. We met throughout the analysis process to ensure congruence in coding and to discuss emerging findings and themes.

Results

Focus group participants employed the following metaphors to describe why victims of abuse "stay" in abusive relationships. Victims are framed as being brainwashed, blinded by love or under a romantic spell. Next, they are positioned as full participants in the "drama" of the relationship, and they have the agency to leave the relationship. Additionally, they are constructed to have personal deficits such as being weak, stupid, or needy that make it hard for them to see what is “really” going on in the relationship. Regarding the repercussions of abuse, several participants described narratives of lives ruined by DV victims who stayed in abusive relationships. Participants discussed how features of  school environments including the presence of social hierarchies and school administrations response to TDV influenced their perceptions of dating abuse.

Discussion & Implications for Practice

Throughout this analysis, teens constructed conflicting narratives of victims as being either full and agentic participants or emotionally-deficient victims trapped by controlling and manipulative partners. Consistent with previous literature, victims were held responsible for leaving the relationship and scrutinized for staying. Rather than responding with empathy, the majority of participants described victims in deficit-based ways. Given that narratives are context bound, this study exemplifies how broader community and school norms influence teens’ perceptions of TDV victimization. Implications for the development of primary prevention interventions will be discussed.