Lesbian Grandparenting and Stepgrandparenting: A Couple Case Study

Background and Purpose:

Each partner in a lesbian couple was interviewed regarding her experience as a grandparent and stepgrandparent. Following qualitative techniques, interviews were analyzed to explore the deeper meaning of the experiences of lesbian grandparents and stepgrandparents. Results provide a view into these complex relationships for each grandparent.

The current case study examines multiple areas of research which are understudied.  Stepgrandparenting is largely ignored in the extant literature, despite a growing number of stepgrandparents.  Lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) grandparenting is rarely discussed in the literature.  A paucity of research exists on the needs of LGB elders and gay stepfamilies. This study attempts to bridge these gaps.

Methods:

A phenomenological approach was used in order to understand the lived experiences of the participants.  This case study is comprised from a larger study of in-depth interviews with 18 individuals.  Participants were all over the age of 50 and identified as LGB.  Interviews lasted approximately one hour each and were recorded. 

For this couple’s case study, interviews from both members of a lesbian couple were extracted for analysis. Both had children and grandchildren from previous heterosexual relationships and therefore had dual roles as grandmother and stepgrandmother. Their interviews were conducted separately the ensure their responses weren’t influenced by their partner.

Interviews were transcribed verbatim.  Data were analyzed using immersion, including coding and categorizing the data individually and then coming together to process.  Differences in codes were resolved through discussion and reanalyzing the data until agreement was reached.  Rigor and trustworthiness were enhanced through bracketing, peer debriefing, member checking, and audit trails.  From these sessions, themes emerged from the case study. 

Results:

Themes include defining family, step family struggles/tenuous relationships, partner stress, and role ambiguity.  This case demonstrated the depth of concern from both participants regarding the boundary ambiguity, both within their relationship with each other and with their relationships with their families.  For this couple, roles were typically defined by their adult children, with both the parent and her partner feeling forced to accept the role given to them.  Many of the themes that emerged built from this type of boundary ambiguity, which created stress between the partners as they both felt the need to choose between their children and their partner.  Each appears to recognize this struggle, with one noting that “it is very painful that she [her partner] feels like a stranger in her home when [my children] are here, and she shouldn’t have to feel that way.”

Conclusions and Implications:

Overall, this research illuminates the many challenges that LGB adults may face as they enter later adulthood.  Social workers should recognize that LGB elders may experience aging differently than other adults because of familial and societal stigma.  Building on research regarding experiences and boundary ambiguity in LGB families and step-families, this case study offers social workers insight into challenges that may be faced by LGB clients.  Despite more recent changes in societal attitudes toward LGBT individuals, many continue to experience stigma in their daily lived experience.